Sign No More
by Drumingpanda
Summary: After Stefan's funeral, Elena decides she needs some time to heal from the past decade of her life. What does she discover while she's gone and what does Damon do for a year without the love of his life? When she returns, will her year away change how she feels about taking the cure? Set post 8x16. Slightly AU/Damon and Elena are both still vampires and have not taken the cure.


_A/N: Hey guys! I've been thinking about how our sweet Delena's life looks post-Stefan, and what that life would have looked like if Elena hadn't have downed the cure and been put to sleep. To help with understanding which plot points exist in this realm and which don't, I just wanted to clarify (:_

_Elena never took the cure that Bonnie gave Damon. Kai linked Bonnie to Elena still, and Bonnie is still the reason that Stefan becomes human. Elena was put to sleep in the coffin with the cure, and when Stefan attacked Bonnie after killing Enzo, she shoved it down his throat instead of injecting him with it. Stefan died in the Spring of 2018, and our story picks up on NYE of the same year in NYC. _

_If you have any questions please message me! If you like it, please review and let me know! Or if you hate it! I just want to know what you guys all think. You can also check out "If Only You Knew", an AU S4 re-write that I've been having fun with._

_Enjoy and happy new year!_

* * *

**DAMON**

Bourbon kisses my lips and burns a warmth inside of me as I take a liberal swig from the bottle of Reserve dangling between my fingertips. Out of all of us, I never thought I would have made it this far. I run a survey in my mind as I stare out over the low Rooftops in Williamsburg. It's not Tribeca, but it's the best I can do with our loose timeline.

Bonnie made it, but we lost Enzo. Little Gilbert is off as safe as he can be chasing vampires for Ric. They think I don't know, and they better be glad as hell Elena doesn't. Blondie's here, but she's taken major hits. I think her Mom dying was rough but when Stefan died, she broke a little. Her and Ric have been funneling all their time, energy, and soul into starting a school for kids like the witchy twins since Stefan left the boarding house to Ric and Caroline in his will. We stuck around for a while, but not long after Stefan's funeral and plans for the school began taking shape, Elena and I decided that it was way too damn hard to sleep at the boarding house so we left Mystic Falls. We said we would go back in a year. That year is approaching real quick, and I'm not sure I'm ready to end this blissful lapse from reality that we've called home.

Tonight, however, is a night where my girl and I are going to revel in every guilty and shameful feeling we've had the past year. It's New Year's Eve and I'm taking Elena out to celebrate it. A new year, a new lease on life, a new city, hell, I'd consider a new color in my wardrobe if it made Elena happy. This year, it's the beginning of everything else, and it's definitely starting right. I push off of the balcony and take another generous swig of bourbon. I walk off of the balcony and back into the apartment. I can see Elena in the vanity across the room. I let my gaze linger long at the open back of her lacy dress and I fight the urge to cross the room and tear it off of her. I'll buy her another one. I should start a fund explicitly designed to buy Elena clothing that I get to rip off with my teeth. Worthy investment if you ask me.

Elena is playing with her hair when I wrap my arms around her. I place a soft kiss on her exposed neck and then drop another peck by her ear.

"You look delicious," I murmur lowly in her ear.

She shifts to get closer, dropping her hands from her hair to mine, and I close my eyes and smile. I've been on this Earth for a long time and nobody drives me crazy the way she does. She turns around to face me and I can feel her hands slide to my cheeks.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she says, covering my lips with her own. My hands find her back as my fingers trace the exposed skin. I pull her toward me and kiss her harder. I feel her hand lower to my waist and I pull away slowly, leaving a trail of kisses down her jaw.

"There will be plenty of time for that, my beautiful girl," I smirk as she looks up at me, confused. Her eyes narrow as she realizes she's not getting any more kisses right now. She's fucking adorable when she's mad. I'm giving the world, however long she wants it.

Before Stefan died, he extracted the cure from his blood and left it in my coat pocket. I found it when I woke up in the tunnels and the vervain had worn off. After staring at it for three days, I showed it to Elena. When Bonnie bought the cure back from Kai's Crazy World, the cure ended up in Stefan before Elena and I could take it. I hadn't thought about it once until I found it in my pocket. I know Elena wants to become human. The question is when. Life is not the same without my brother and I know I'd be a different man if Elena wasn't there with me through the worst of the torrential weeks that followed his funeral. Now that the worst of the grieving was over, I realize that the idea of being human again has never felt more freeing. I'd live a full life, a finite one, with purpose and passion and then, when it was all done, I'd see my baby brother again. But I know me, and I know I found me when I became a vampire.

As twisted as it felt, I actually think I needed this. A century and a half is a long time to try and get it right, but I think I'm finally figuring it out. I want to hold on to that for a little longer, but that's just the selfish side of me talking. I'll ignore him. Maybe.

I'll worry about that tomorrow. Tonight is about us. We're not grieving. We're not tired. We're not desperate. We are fire on fire. I look down at my watch and walk out into the living room. I scan the room for my keys and stride over to the table where they're laying.

"It's time to go, my love," I say, looking over my shoulder. Elena emerges from the bedroom holding a purse, gently shutting the door behind her. I look her over, hunger in my eyes and she smiles coyly at me. She's wearing this tight lacy little black dress with an open back. The dress has a neckline that goes up to her collar and it's accentuating her neck. Her heels are a pair of Valentinos I bought her after I saw her eyeing them in Nordstrom. She put her hair in one of the complicated little braids that I love, and a few wisps framed her face. She can't be fucking real. I adjust my dick absentmindedly as I look back up at her.

"Three hours to midnight," she sings, waiving her phone at me, giggling.

"Someone got into the good stuff early," I laugh, sliding her hand into mine as we leave the apartment. I click the lock into place and lead Elena over to the elevator.

"I may have had one more than I should have," she whispers dramatically, waggling her eyebrows at me.

We walk out of the building and toward a Chevy Tahoe.

"Damon," the driver asks as he rolls down his window?

"That would be us," I smile politely, raising a hand. I open the back door and turn to let Elena in. Moving in next to her, I shut the door and flip on the light.

The driver turns back to confirm our destination when I catch his gaze.

"You're not going to leave when you take us to our destination. You're going to get something to eat, and then come back and wait for us. You'll spend the rest of the evening taking us around town and you will go home, a happy man who has cashed in on his most lucrative New Year's Eve to date."

"How about this?" The driver asks kindly. "I'll take you and the lady wherever you'd like to go tonight. It'd be my pleasure."

"Why thank you," I say, feigning gratitude. I look over and smile at Elena and she rolls her eyes at me. I put a finger under her chin and turn her head to face mine. When she catches my eyes, my gaze drops slowly to her lips and I wait. After a beat, she leans in toward me and I kiss her softly before pulling away and putting an arm around her.

"Tell me, sir," I ask, looking toward the driver. "What's your name?"

"Name's Tom," he says.

"Tom, we're going to have a hell of night, you and I. Let's start at Tony's on 46th."

As Tom heads toward the bridge, I look out at all the buildings I can see lit up in Manhattan. That view would never get old. Signs buzz outside the window, flickering light on Elena's heel as they blur past. I look down at her snug against my arm and my heart skips a beat. The heat in the car warms my cold hands as I lace my fingers through my love's. Through all the shit, we actually made it. Universe could kiss my ass. I drop a soft kiss on the top of her head and she wiggles closer to me. She'll never let go again.

* * *

Tony's Di Napoli was one my favorite spots when I spent time here in the seventies. I'd bring all the boys out for some of the best Italian in the city before picking up a dame or two from the theater across the street. I promised Elena I'd bring her here for a special occasion, and tonight was that night. Looking up at the sign, a smile creeps past my face as I walk toward the door.

"What is it?" Elena breathes behind me, curiously.

"Just memories." I turn to the hostess and smile kindly. "Reservation for Salvatore," I say.

She smiles as she picks up two menus and nods in our direction. "Right this way."

The bar is noisy and and main dining room packed as we walk down a narrow strip before taking a right at the stairs. She leads us down to the basement and the noise level decreases dramatically. I always ask to be downstairs specifically for that reason. Well, that and the fact that there's two servers for five tables so the attention is far more personalized. She places the menus down on a table in the back corner and I reach out to pull out Elena's chair. She sits down lightly, her eyes grazing the menu as I undo my sport coat and place it on the chair behind me.

"May I start you off with water?" A server asks, approaching the table with two glasses and a cravat in hand.

"Please," I gesture widely, "and a bottle of the '94 Gevrey."

"Exquisite choice," he nods. "My name is Henry and I will be your server this evening. I'll give you some time to look over the menu."

His back recedes from view as he turns the corner to the wine cellar. I look back at Elena and she's biting her lip, her brow worried in concentration.

"Ugh," she says in a huff as she looks up at me."Everything sounds so good!"

I laugh. "And it is. It's all family style, so I'll share whatever you want. I suggest the veal and the eggplant parmesan."

"Okay," she sighs happily, placing the menu down. "Eggplant it is."

**ELENA**

I pout when Damon pours the last of the Gevrey into my glass. That was delectable. He smiles lazily at me and I cross my legs. Damn, he is hot. Candlelight flickers on his irises and my eyes are fixated on his when I swirl another sip of wine slowly over my tongue.

"That was delicious," I purr, looking at Damon through my lashes. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I am the sexiest thing in the room. I wonder how I would feel when he wasn't here. I have to find out. I decide this is why this year is so bittersweet.

"It's been forty years and they have yet to disappoint." He shrugs lightly. My heart skips.

I glance down at my watch and look at the time. 10:45. I look up expectantly at Damon. I let him plan this night. This would be one of the last things I would be able to give him for a while, and I know he loves surprising me. I think that's why he's looking at me like I'm a damn Happy Meal. He already imagined what I'd look like in this dress, and he likes reality even more. Boys.

I finish off my glass of wine and take Damon's hand when he stands and extends it toward me. He helps me into my coat and places my bag on my shoulder. I can't help but smile. He is the perfect gentleman with me. He kisses me lightly on the head and leads me to the stairs. We walk back down the narrow path to the city outside beyond the door. Tom is waiting in front, door to the backseat open expectantly. Damon ushers me into the car and closes the door behind him.

"Billy's," he says to Tom, lightly. "Uptown."

"We're on it," Tom replies.

I've been to Billy's with Damon before. My humanity was off then. He was looking for the cure and I left with Rebekah. It feels like yesterday. It feels like ages ago. So many people have come and gone in the past few years, it's incredible. I feel like I've been crying for almost a decade. I'd like to remember what that doesn't feel like. I don't want to turn off my humanity anymore, I want to heal. This is why I need time away from the reminders of the seas of tears I've wrought in the pocket of soul where my home is. I can be strong for a little while longer. We can do this.

My watch reads 11:17 when we clear to the upstairs dance floor. I can feel music vibrating through me as I pull Damon closer to me. Billy's is loud. Billy's is dark. Billy's is serving liquor like water. And at Billy's, nobody gives a damn. Damon nods at me and I look around the room. A small brunette girl is dancing alone near by. I bring her close to Damon and I, my body relishing in the sensation of the music. I can feel Damon's fingertips on the back of my thing as I compel her to enjoy what's about to happen and not to scream. I feel my fangs descend as Damon's fingers leave my leg and I neatly sink into her neck. Blood pools in my mouth as I drink deeply. I can feel Damon pressing against my back, his hands guiding my hips to the music as I take another long, slow draw. I close my eyes and the rush from the blood hits me. Damon leans forward and bites into her neck. She moans. I take one last small pull before licking the wound. Damon heals her and sends her to clean herself up.

I pull him to me by the hem of his sweater, an electric buzz of blood, and desire, and fear, and love. He falls easily into my arms, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I lean forward and kiss him, swiping my tongue against the small stain of blood on his bottom lip. My fingers crawl up his back as I pull his lip in and sucking lightly on it. His groan vibrates through me and I pull away, softly nipping at him. Damon is a mantra in my heart, the answer to every question, the expansion of every breath i take. The love i feel in my heart for him surges to a peak as our bodies meld and another song plays. I throw my head back and laugh. I can feel Damon's arms locked around me and I feel so safe. I know I'm free, and the thought thrills me. If this had been a few years ago, I know I would fear what I'm about to do. Instead, all I feel is the beat of the music, the rhythm of my man, and the increasing buzz of the blood and booze that we've consumed. I must be high to leave him, but I'm crazy if I stay.

Noise erupts around us as the band signals ten minutes to midnight. Damon pulls me away from the crowd and we escape up a flight of stairs that I know lead to the offices. We move quietly down the dark corridor and Damon stops in front of the boiler room door. He looks at me and smirks before breaking the handle off in his hand.

"Damon," I chide, laughing.

"I'll buy him a new one," he shrugs, stepping into the hot, compact space. He lets go of my hand as he walks over to a ladder. He climbs quickly to the top and I hear a loud grinding sound as he opens the hatch to the roof. I walk over to the ladder and look up as Damon smiles down at me.

"Come on up. View's great."

I step onto the roof and look out over the city. I like New York. Maybe one day Damon and I will come back here for a while to live. We've talked about going a lot of places. I walk over to the ledge and look out towards the river. I know there will be fireworks starting in just a few minutes. I know New Year's Eve signals the beginning of something newer, better, greater, for all of the faceless people I see carousing down the neon lit streets below me. I know for me, the New Year is my marker that it's about to hurt a lot more before it starts to heal.

I take Damon's hand and look up at him. I feel like his blue eyes are staring into the darkest parts of my heart, like they have so many times before. I wonder if he already knows what I'm about to do. I softly run my thumb back and forth over his hand in a slow circle.

"Damon, I love you," I say confidently.

"I love you, Elena," he says softly.

"Before midnight comes, there's something I need to tell you." I swallow, feeling a rush of warmth reach my cheeks.

"Anything," he says, curiosity creeping into his irises.

I twine my fingers with his and sit the generator next to where we are standing, guiding him to sit with me.

"We made it, Damon." I start, smiling softly. "We actually survived."

He looks at me, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"From the day we met, our lives have been...messy. It's been hard, and complicated, and heartbreaking, and devastating. But it's also been amazing. It's been rich, and adventurous, and passionate, and pure. It's been so real."

Damon wipes a tear away as it begins to roll down my cheek.

"I am the most fortunate woman in the world to have you by my side," I continue. "You fought for me. For us. There's nothing that I look forward to more than spending forever with you."

"And I you," he says, softly.

"And that's the thing about it Damon. My life has been a bottle rocket for almost a decade, and this is the first time I've had a moment to breathe. To reflect. To try and heal. And at first it was my parents dying, then it was breaking up with Matt. Then you and Stefan showed up and everything changed. I changed. And then Stefan died, and life got quiet. But...I still feel like there are parts of me that I need to figure out, parts of me that need to heal. There's a bit of Elena that I haven't had the opportunity to get to know because I've always been surrounded. There's never been time. But...we have all the time in the world now. And I would really like to meet her."

I brace myself as I look back at Damon. I don't want to break his heart. He pulls me onto his lap and I swing a leg over to straddle his waist. He shrugs off his sport coat and rests it over my shoulders. He puts both hands on either side of my face and I close my eyes at his warm touch. He strokes my cheek, wiping away another tear and tucks a stray hair behind my ear.

"Elena," he says, so quietly that if I were human I would have missed it. I open my eyes and catch his gaze. I can feel the love pouring from him and I can feel my heart constrict in my chest.

"Damon, I—" I start. He places a finger on my lips and leans in to softly kiss me.

"I understand, baby," he sighs. "How much time do you need?"

"A year," I say quietly. He laughs.

"A year? That's it?"

I look at him, a confused expression on my face. A year was a long time to be away with no contact. Sometimes I still question if I can even do it.

"Elena, when I went into self-discovery mode, I was gone for almost half a century. Stefan was a little better than me. He only took a decade. So a year...it's like going to sleep and waking up in the morning."

I sigh with relief, feeling the weight leaving my shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, Damon. I don't want to leave you, but even with everything that has settled, there's still some pretty big decisions that we need to make, and I just want to take a little more time before we make them."

"I know," he says lightly, picking me up as he stands to his feet. I hold onto his arms as he places my feet on the ground. "We will figure everything out," he murmurs in my ear as he turns me around to face the river again, kissing me lightly behind my ear. "But right now, we have fireworks to watch."

As the words leave his mouth, the first fireworks explode in the sky. I turn back to face him, pulling his face toward me. My lips find his and I grasp the front of his sweater as I kiss him, hard. He wraps his arms around my waist, deepening the kiss as a hand finds its way into my hair. I can feel his fingertips on my scalp and it sends shivers down my spine and heat pooling to my core. I moan softly into his mouth and move a hand under the back of his shirt, tracing his spine. He squeezes my waist before pulling away all too soon. I look up at him, confused and he places a kiss on my forehead.

"You're going to leave today, aren't you?" He says into my hair.

I don't respond immediately, swallowing loudly. I look up at him guiltily. How does he always know me so well? I don't deserve him. I nod my head, looking at our fingers intertwined between us. He disentangles a hand and guides my chin up until I'm lost in the pool of his eyes.

"I have to, Damon. If I don't—I might not—," I begin frantically.

"It's okay, baby," he whispers, giving me a coy smile. "But if this is our last night together for a year, then you're going to be up all night, in our bed, so our neighbors never forget our names."

I laugh as he reaches down to squeeze my ass softly. I look up at him between my lashes and return the smile. My eyes rake down his body, and I bite down softly on my bottom lip as I take him in.

"Well then, let's go," I purr as I walk him over to the ledge. I stand on the roof's edge and hold my hand out to Damon. He joins me, smiling.

"Last one down is gas leak at the Grill," he jokes as we step over the edge and let ourselves free fall from one thousand feet in the air.


End file.
